New York Sweet New York

After almost 5 years in New York, I feel like I am starting to know the city in a deeper way, and so here are some very non deep observations of what I find peculiar in this little island of ours. I believe that the first point is of crucial importance in order to survive sanely, and therefore everybody has to be aware:

- Creepy noises in your apartment can mean two, and only two things: GHOST OR COCKROACH. Having experienced both, I have the obligation to tell you that you do NOT, I repeat, do NOT, want it to be the latter. Don't ask why, just pray that it's a ghost and suck it up.

- A New Yorker is generally a quite scary being. A New Yorker with an umbrella is a potential mass destruction weapon (who tries to run down the subway stairs on a rainy day know exactly why).

- The City DOES sleep. Try to go to a restaurant after 10:30 pm and you'll see them snoring. Lesson learned: always keep a tuna can in your kitchen cabinet.

- If you have the feeling that you're being followed, you're probably being followed. And if then they ask you for your money, just do what I did: don't give it to them and get angry if they don't leave (note: this is to be applied - strictly - only if you are extremely hangover, and actually don't realize what is really going on).

- The Upper East Side is EVIL. End of the story. Nothing more to be added.

- New Yorkers secretly feel a guilty pleasure whenever a movie or tv show is being filmed on their street. But beware: none of that pleasure will ever show through their faces. Nope. Against the rule. Moments after the yellow "no parking" flier is posted on the tree across the street, they will casually take a quick, furtive look at it and then giggle for the rest of their walk, already putting the words of their complain together: "Yeah, you know..(insert fake yawn)..Entourage is shooting AGAIN on our street. SO annoying. I mean..as if we have nothing better to do that standing endlessly on the street waiting to be allowed back home so that Adrien Grenier can get the right shot. Why don't they just go to NJ?!" - yeah right

- While our European counterparts are looking forward to the Friday night going OUT, here we are looking forward (ok, just me) to the Friday night ordering IN - god bless seamlessweb - along with complimentary couchpotatoesness and re-runs of sex & the city (alright, me again)

- In New York, but in the US in general, everything damn works: Bath&Body Works, Yoga Works, Water Works, etc..Trying to apply the same concept to my motherland - italy -, for some reason the only thing I can come up with is Cheating Works. And I already picture our dear Prime Minister at the opening ceremony, while he cuts the red ribbon all smiley.

- If you really want to see the weirdest people in town, don't choose Coney Island on a summer Sunday afternoon, nor the L train at 1 am (although this gets the silver medal). Instead, THE place to go is Trader Joe's, any day, any night, any time. The bizarre-ness concentration is so high that you might end up staring at everybody for way more than the public-decency-based allowed time. Few among last night's encounters: a young man, talking to his girlfriend in a very foreign language. Nothing weird, except that she was replying to him in an even more foreign one (and he was puzzled).
An excessively pregnant woman, wearing a dress made out of my grandma's stolen curtains (now we finally know who took them!).
An old dude, wearing his bike helmet for the whole duration of the cashier line (about 40 minutes).
An even older dude, wearing the same bike helmet, AND with his bike folded INSIDE the shopping cart.
Needless to say, the staff is obviously selected and hired (maybe even trained!?) to perfectly match the clientele. Never seen happier employees, with bigger smiles and more cheerful cheers like at Trader Joe's. Except for the people of the village in The Truman Show.

To be continued...

Cheer up!

As I walked out my house this morning, still wondering why I decided to leave my cozy bed, a sudden wake up shook me: yesterday's nice and silent snow has been replaced by annoying wet humid (how else could it be??) rain. Thinking whether I was the only one suffering from the "This-day-is-too-gross-to-smile" Syndrome, I made up a test to see if I should welcome anybody in my club.

"How gross is your day" Test:

1 - You leave the house to go to work and:
a) the sun shines, you put your shades on and swing away like a rayban model
b) you realize that what seems niagara falls is actually rain, take your shades off and swing away like bridget jones

2 - You reach the subway and:
a) trotting like a happy beagle you jump in an almost empty train, sit and a brad-pitt-looking guy winks at you
b) after rescuing yourself from 10 pointy umbrellas, you spend the next 15 minutes waiting for a train, get in and after 2 sniffs, a career as sewer worker doesn't look quite bad anymore

3 - You reach your office and the doorman:
a) greets you with a smiley "good morning gorgeous!"
b) greets you with a "hmpff..."

4 - You finally made it to the office, walk in and look in the mirror:
a) your hair is silky and shiny from the sun and breeze and you smell like flower
b) your hair is gone on strike and smells like seaweed, you avoid putting your hands in it to not risk perpetual fingers-captivity

if you answered more than 3 b), your day is GRODY TO THE MAX!
if you answered more than 3 a), you are not in New York today!

Of course it cannot rain forever, as somebody much more famous than me said, but he was certainly not known for his weather forecast abilities, so..The good news is that a gross day is always a perfect excuse to cheer yourself up with chocolate and wine! Go home and celebrate!

Just an ordinary day...

Clangclang!! Mooooooove!!!!! Whiiiiir!!! Yo talkin' to me?? Excuuuuuse ME! Ciakciakciak!Excuuuuseee Meee!!! Rrrroooooaaaaarrrrr!!!!No -woman-noWeeee!-cryyyy...BambambamEcouteecoute! Un pochito de..You knowwww, he said he reeeeeally likes me...Whiiiiiiiiiirrrr!Tactactac!Vrrooooommm!Splash! Ticktockticktock! Bang! I need mor...Buzzzz! money money money! Whiiiiirrr! that's him! Clickclickclick!!! Cough!cough! No, ma abbiamo sbagliato...Hisssshisssss! strada!! Craaaash! Szhooom! Pleease help the..Vrooom! homele..I know i know it's not..Whiiiirrrr!
Out of service out of service out of service, please get oooouuuttttt!!!
I had enough.

Summer's Soul

Late June, Charlotte: the wind has changed, the trees have shaken, the lake is feeling the first drops drowning. The clouds have gathered, the lights have parted.
Timing the seconds we're waiting, hushed: at last the thunder echoed.
Enjoy the silence.

Home Sweet...

This is where I live, the place I call home everyday. But what is "home" though? Home is what makes you feel protected, the space you know you belong to. At home you don't feel like a foreigner, a guest, one that everybody knows is just passing by. At home you live your life, and you know it's the right one.
After few years abroad, I realize I can't call any place "home". Home is not NY, nor Italy: being here is not me yet, and being there is not me anymore.
Here I am discovering, there I am missing.
Here I can't tolerate business people in flip flops, there I am astonished by the impetuous desire of looking cool.
In a city of 9 million people, where nobody is really at home, can I be so pretentious to think I am the only one having troubles? Of course not. I keep in the game, aware that tomorrow I could not be at home in any other house of the world.

One Way New York

I have something to do, something to say, something to think, something to forget. But when?
Here where I live the answer is : what about now? NOW is the only start and the only arrival. Yesterday is over, tomorrow is too far away in the future to worry about.
There comes the name of this blog. From the impossibility of thinking myself in any other dimension but Now.
I am 27 Now and I cannot afford to think about my 26s, I left them behind only few days ago but they deserve no more time: go ahead, the world (or maybe just the City?) keeps on working, so why shouldn't you, right Now?
Here starts my journey through the attempt of escaping Now, sitting down, breathing, choosing and planning. Now is just time for it.
Bienvenue.